I got mom-shamed this week at my youngest child’s day camp. This is a new camp we’re at and my son is so happy here. He has special needs and this camp program is specifically for kids that have special needs. He loves going there and since we couldn’t get bus service, I take him 30 minutes each way (so at least 2 hours a day in the car for me going back and forth. But this week I was mom-shamed and I’m very unhappy about it. This is what happened. I forgot to pack a pair of shorts for my son for him to change into. I accidentally packed two shirts instead of a shirt and shorts for my kid to change into after swim. I had no clue about this when I walked in to pick him up. When I walked into the camp, I saw my son wearing white shorts. I knew he didn’t have white shorts and I was a little confused. As I walked in to sign my son out, the head counselor brought me the sign out sheet and said, “You forgot to pack his shorts. Shame on you.” The Day I Was Mom-Shamed
Excuse me? I was speechless. I made a mistake, but she actually said ‘Shame on you” to me. I think another counselor also said something, but I was honestly too stunned to even say a thing back. I just walked over to my child, who was he was fine and happy. Then a senior staff member walked over and said, “You!”. I took that as she was also saying “Shame on You”. And yes, I may have been too sensitive, but still that upset me even more. As I walked out with my son, I was shocked. It had been a long tough day as it was and this was the last thing that I needed.
As I thought about it, I just got more and more upset. So, I forgot to give my kid shorts? Is that the worst thing ever? No. As parents, we’re pretty hard on ourselves and I didn’t need someone to make me feel awful about forgetting something. I’m human. My kid is tough and he may have been a pain in the tush, but it didn’t give the counselor the right to say something to me about ME forgetting something.
I emailed the senior staff member about what had happened and why I was upset with her also. I tried to just write the facts and not react emotionally. She called me immediately and was very apologetic. It was what I needed to hear and I accepted her apology. I still haven’t spoken to the counselor about it, but I may have to, as I’m still upset (this happened two days ago). I don’t want to out or bash the camp, the head counselor or the senior staff member, I just want them to realize that words can hurt and I am upset.
Have you ever been mom (or dad) shamed? How did you handle it? Did I over-react? I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
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The Day I Was Mom-Shamed
Shelly Maynard says
Shaming others has become far too common of a thing. It’s easy to pick and poke at others when they make mistakes; but we must remember that we ALL make mistakes. We’re human. As I age, I try to remind myself that it’s how we bounce back from those mistakes. Forgetting shorts is not a life-or-death situation; therefore, their “shaming” was completely rude and unnecessary. I don’t fit into the “in-crowd” where I live (I wasn’t born or raised here) and I am constantly being nit-picked for everything. My youngest son just had a football scrimmage yesterday and I haven’t been around that group of parents in a year (since the season ended last year). Immediately, I had a mom whispering and getting people talking about the weight I’ve gained from my surgery and medications. It’s hard to keep your head up sometimes!
The Mama Maven says
Thank you for reading my post. I’m sorry to hear that people were whispering about you. You are fierce and awesome, please don’t even listen to those bozos.