Losing loved ones can be an amazingly difficult part of life. The lawyers at Christensen & Hymas reached out to over 100 grief counselors and asked them to share with us their thoughts on losing a loved one.
The article below is a compilation of their responses.
Remember that Grieving is Completely Natural
“Once we can accept that the pain of loss is a natural hurt based on our love, it’s not just a meaningless pain. Grief is a deeply meaningful experience, that shows us how we feel about those we love.”
-Ammon Fawson, LMFT
“The first most important thing to do is to understand that the unique and indescribable pain of grieving is a normal reaction to the loss of someone we love dearly. We grieve because we love them, and the more we love them the greater the pain will be, and we may never stop grieving.”
-Cecilia H. Leggett
Understand that Everyone Experiences Loss Differently
“Often well-meaning loved ones encourage those that are grieving to jump directly to acceptance, wanting to spare them the other seemingly negative and painful stages.
But what we know is that each of these stages are vital to healing the seemingly unhealable heart. So it is just as important to feel anger and denial as it is to feel acceptance. Additionally, anyone who has experienced grief and loss understands that these stages are not necessarily in order and acceptance is not always a complete end to pain. Grieving may involve jumping from one stage to the other for example finding partial acceptance but then re-experiences depression or anger.”
“…remember that most people grieve in multi-dimensional ways – emotionally, cognitively, physically, spiritually and, sometimes, existentially. If you lack tears it doesn’t mean you are not grieving.”
-Lothair W. Pendleton
Know That You Can Do This
“It is a trauma I would never wish on anyone! However, I am living proof that life can be good again. Suicidal thoughts are common after a trauma or the death of a loved one. My family and friends were a strong support for me. When I struggled with death wishes, loved ones wouldn’t leave me alone. I never gave up, even when I wanted to and couldn’t imagine seeing another day…”
“Yet it is true – I am very much stronger in who I am as a person now. My life views have changed. My spirituality has changed. I am more myself. I would never wish this on anyone, yet it happened and human beings are nothing if not resilient – my work as a therapist has shown me the absolute truth of this resiliency. But I could not have done it on my own. Reach out for help. Reach out, tell others what you need. Find a therapist. Find solace when and where you can. Know it will take time, be gentle on yourself, and allow yourself to grieve. I wish you peace if you grieve, as you grieve.”
-Liz Hunter, MA, LMFTA
To read the full article go to: https://christensenhymas.com/dealing-with-loss-loved-one/
Coping With Loss
Heather @ US Japan Fam says
Thank you!! I’m bookmarking this for when I need it. I can’t even stand to the think of the day I lose a close family member.
I love the tip about understanding that we all cope with loss differently. I’ve seen so many family members criticize the way relatives deal with loss.
Julie Wood says
It is so sad when a loved one is lost and it takes time to heal and go through the grief process. Everyone goes through grief differently, but being there for our loved ones is so important!