I haven’t updated on S in a while. His IEP/Turning 5 Meeting went well. We got the school we wanted, the one two blocks from our house, that my older son and daughter go to.
We got the K-2 Special Ed class we wanted. We even got a shared para that can take my son to the toilet and change him. S still isn’t toilet trained and frankly, it’s been very stressful. So stressful. It was bothering me so much that I cried to a total stranger (thanks Theresa Foskey of Making It All Work) at the KidzVuz Back to School Event the Saturday night of BlogHer. She had experience working as a social worker with special needs kids and understood how I felt. She gave me some good advice and recommended that he needed to feel underwear against his skin, even if we put a pull-up diaper over it. And that convinced me that I had to try NOW, even if we failed. But I still wasn’t ready to go ready on this.
While S is going to be 5, he has special needs and he does act around a year younger. However, he’s super bright, knows every type of dinosaur that ever existed and is starting to read. I don’t understand where this disconnect is coming from? All I know is that I can’t go on like this.
We started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago. Dr. M is great and is definitely something we needed in our lives. While we have been putting S on the potty, we haven’t had much success. We had him almost trained a year and a half ago, but after he had some setbacks, we backed off and nothing has worked since. I have been using a mix of diapers and pull-up diapers, but it just wasn’t working. Even when I put him on the potty, no matter how long we sit – nothing.
But then I was ready to start going full press. This past Saturday, Dr. M told us we were enabling by keeping him in pull-up diapers. I think she’s right. We’ve been making excuses of why he’s not doing it.
So — goodbye diapers and pull-up diapers (except for night — that will come soon though). We expected this to be messy, but it’s kind of now or never.
The 1st Day
For the first day, he stayed dry. However, he didn’t pee the 8 times we took him to the bathroom, yes 8 times. We spent a good portion of our day sitting and waiting.. We spent the day at LEGOLAND Discovery Center (their women’s bathroom is awesome and pretty clean). We got to know it well. In my backpack, I had a portable fold-up potty seat, a ziploc bag full of underwear, wipes, and 4 pairs of shorts). Note: Take extra socks, t-shirts, and flushable wipes — and even possibly a change of shoes.
After we got home last night, he was still dry — until he let it go RIGHT on my bathroom floor, next to the toilet. I stayed calm, bathed him quickly and put him to bed (in a pull-up diaper).
The next morning (Sunday), we took his sodden pull-up off and cleaned him up and put underwear back on. He still didn’t pee in the potty. We put a pad on his car seat again and headed out to Brookhaven, Long Island for their Summer Sundays Free program. Once there, we took him to the bathroom about 4 times and NOTHING. He stayed dry. On the way back west, we stopped at a gas station (S said he had to pee), and he tried to pee a tree and then sitting down on the portable potty (I bought him the OXO Tot Portable Potty). Still nothing. We went to my friend J and C’s house for a BBQ at 5. I tried to put him on the potty again — nothing. As he was playing on top of their swing set, we discovered that he wet himself. No worries, I changed him and sent him back to play in a tee shirt and underwear with bare feet (he dripped onto his socks and shoes). 10 to 15 minutes after that I noticed that he had another accident (#2 this time). No worries, cleaned him up again and stuck underwear pair #3 on. He loved running around in his underwear.. a little too much!
30 minutes later we tried to go to the toilet again — nothing. I dressed him in shorts this time and sent him on his way. We kept taking him to the potty again and again — nothing. I let him play downstairs after dessert and sure enough, he had another accident through his underwear and shorts. I’ll admit I was frustrated at that point. I got him ready to go (luckily I found extra socks) and we left (it was after 9 PM at this point). I put him on the potty when he got home and still nothing. I gave him a bath (he was filthy from playing in the dirt and grass) and we called it a night.
Tomorrow is day 3 and I wrote a whole note to his teacher at his summer program. I packed 5 pairs of underwear, 3 pairs of socks, 5 pairs of shorts, 2 tee shirts, and a container of wipes. I even have a pad for his seat on the schoolbus. I hope we have a break though soon.